Sleepless nights...for 15 months!

Hurdle number 2, that we are not even close to jumping over...sleeping through the night. My husband and I have not had a full night's sleep until before Blake was born (he'll be 15 months on the 16th). There was a small time frame, while I was pregnant, that Joseph slept through the night. But as soon as little brother entered the world, we have had 5, and I mean 5 full nights of sleep and 2 of those were because the boys spent the night at my mom's house. Again, we have tried EVERYTHING! Letting him cry it out, going to him, sleeping with him, letting him sleep with us, shutting the door, giving him prizes for not waking us up, slowly creeping out of the room, moving further and further out of the room each night (Ferber method). Our current remedy, suggested to us from our doctor, has actually helped until the last couple of nights. This only involves about one waking in the night.  The plan is to let Joseph come in and sleep on our floor (pile of blankets). The deal is he can come in as long as he does not wake us up. I thought there was no way this would work, but the first few nights were great (but of course these nights Blake got up in the middle of the night, so we were still without a full night sleep). However, recently, Joseph still manages to wake us up. And oddly enough, it's not when he comes in to the room. I have actually been awake when he first comes in and he quietly goes to his blanket pile and lays down. No it's sometime after that that he wakes up, "Mom, cover me." "Dad, there are monsters." "I can't find G (his little lovey)." Once we figure this out, I will be sure to post what we did!!!!

How not to potty train your child

Joseph, FINALLY, started peeing on the potty. As part of the celebration, Daddy brought home balloons. Note the sweatpants. There is nothing worse than taking off peed on jeans, besides the fact that they have not only a button, but a zipper. Granted Joseph looked like a little ragamuffin that week, but we had easy down pants!

Potty training has BY FAR, been THE most difficult parenting hurdle thus far. And we are still not over that hurdle.  Being trained in child behavior I thought that this would be a no-brainer, we would have him trained in one day at exactly 2 1/2. And my mommy confession, pre-kids I would look at kids over 3 and wonder what the parents were waiting for to train their little ones. Now I know. We tried EVERYTHING! He was sat on the potty every 15 minutes all day, would not pee on the potty, he was given M&M's every time he sat on the toilet, he got a matchbox car if he peed, he wore pull-ups, he only wore Big Boys, he refused to go naked, he was even given the ultimate of ultimate potty prizes, the Misty Island Shake-Shake Bridge with a motorized Thomas, just for peeing on the potty!!!! (He was so resistant to sitting on the potty, that I thought maybe he was scared so I figure if he could just do it once, just once, then he would have it done.) So he pees once that day and not at all the next. Conclusion, I was wrong, he is just a stubborn little thing. Of course, most things we referred to (pediatrician included) said just let it happen on its own. I would not be pushing it at all, heck diapers are super easy, you don't have to worry about finding the disgusting public bathroom, you don't have to pull over after 5 minutes of driving because, even though we tried to pee before we left, we just didn't have to go. No, I would willingly allow him to wear diapers until he is good and ready, were it not for the fact that I paid for Joseph to start a little preschool program at the zoo and the number one requirement was: Your child must be potty trained. NO PULL-UPS! It starts in 3 weeks. I think, we have the potty part down, finally, as Joseph has put it, "I got peeing down, Mom. I just poop in my pull-up." Today I told him no pull-ups, if he has to poop, he has to go on the toilet. And what happens today, the little stinker doesn't poop. So we're still working on that one!

What we have learned first hand, what not to do:

• Don't worry about how old they are. (Joseph is now 3 1/2, birthday in July) That was my biggest obstacle. I was determined to not have a 3 year old in diapers so I pushed it. And Joseph pushed back. So who cares if Mom at the park trained her child in one day the day they turned two. Good for her. That is not all children and may not be yours, so don't lose sleep over it. They'll let you know, they'll tell you they have gone, when they go in their diaper, they will show interest and talk about it. Don't be surprised if they start to show interest and then lose it. We started with Joseph a little before 2 1/2 (right before Blake was born) and it seemed to be going ok. Then once Blake was born we both had to put it on hold. Neither of us were ready to tackle it. But then the problem became, I want to do what Blake is doing. If Blake had his socks off, Joseph took his socks off, if Blake was putting a toy in his mouth, Joseph was putting a toy in his mouth, if Blake was wearing a diaper...you get the point.
• As much as you don't want to hear it you do have to wait until they are ready...and YOU are ready. It has been really difficult for me not to get upset when I know he knows how to use the potty and just refuses to do it. I have to really look at how I am acting about it. If I don't make a big deal about it, it is a much better day.  So not only do you need to wait until he is ready, you have to be ready, and it might not be when you think. If you find yourself getting really frustrated, take a break, come back to it later that day, the next day, or maybe the weekend when you may have more help because Dad/Mom/Grandma can help.
• Don't tell him every 15 minutes to use it. If you wait until they are ready then they will go when they need to. On the days that I pestered him about going, he didn't make it once to the toilet. When I didn't even mention it, he would tell me he had to go and went every time. Now this is more of a beginning thing. I do have to remind him now because he gets so into playing and he knows how to hold it now, that he will misjudge. I always make him go before we leave the house. I made the mistake of not asking him after we had been out for an hour and he pees on the floor at the Chick-fil-a play area. Was I mortified!
• I was told to have him clean up the mess if he does go. The thought is, he is so wrapped up in what he is doing that he just doesn't get to the bathroom, so if he has to clean it up when he goes, he is still having to stop what he is doing. Only do this if you are willing and have time for whining and "Mommy help me." When he would have to undress himself I would just have to walk out of the room, otherwise he would put on a whole production about how he can't do it. If I leave and say I have to get the wipes (and take my time) I come back and he is undressed. The same with putting clothes back on, if I leave to throw the wipes out and the bag of wet clothes in the basement, he is dressed, sometimes with backwards pants and underwear but dressed. And I don't fix it unless it is bothering him, then I will help him, because he did it the first time. However, I have made the mistake of standing over him and he just whines and complains and I just get frustrated and yell. This is not what you want to do.
• It's ok to try rewards. It really helps in the beginning if you have a less than motivated tyke. He just weens himself off the rewards. Now only once in awhile will he ask for a sticker or a chocolate. At Christmas time, invest in some advent calendars with chocolate in them. I found some really cheap after Christmas and they work great! He's not getting too much chocolate and it is hanging outside the bathroom door (which is in our family room) so it is a constant reminder for him. Sometimes he'll see it and just want some chocolate and so will go to the bathroom. Granted this isn't what every mom will want to hear, but it works for us. 
• When he starts to do it consistently make a HUGE deal about it. He got balloons and got to go to Chuck E. Cheese. Not all at once, but the first 3 days he peed with few accidents he got balloons. Then after about a week and a half he got Chuck E. Cheese.
• Our biggest dilemma was the public toilet.  He had only used his little portable potty, so I figured it would take forever for him to go when we were out. For awhile he would wear pull-ups still when we were out, but one day we were at Target and I was stocking up on potty prizes and he really wanted one of the things I was going to get so he wanted to pee, right then and there. So we went to the big potty for the first time! He tried and couldn't go, but I was so impressed and ever since then he never thought it was a big deal to go when we were out. (He did get a consolation prize, but not the one he wanted because he didn't pee.)
• It's ok to incorporate a general behavior sticker chart with the potty chart. He earns stickers for sharing, helping his brother, good listening, and pottying. This helps to make pottying seem like something you just do rather than completely focusing on it. But he still gets rewarded for doing it since it is a new skill.  
• If you can find a method to potty train in a day, by all means try it, but don't be discouraged if it doesn't work. It's a learning process for both of you.  All both of you know is diapers. We'll see how kid #2 goes!