Bottle of Joy

I wish there was a way to bottle up all the sweet times I have with the boys and pull them out when they are driving me nuts. I just put baby Blake-a-do to bed, who is not quite a baby anymore. After laying him down once for him to protest after 5 minutes, I went back up to console the tired little guy. Rocking with him was so sweet and fun. We rubbed noses and smiled and laughed. He persistently tried to stick his finger in my mouth and found it funny when I would "bite" it. I know I need to cherish these times. My oldest, now 4 has already outgrown rocking before bed. And as I sit with my "baby" I know I will miss these days.  Right now it seems they will always be here and my frustrations will always be little temper tantrums when the boys don't get their way. But I know that the temper tantrums will give way to arguments about staying up late and why pulling your brother along on a skateboard while you are biking is not only a terrible idea, it's very dangerous. I know I will still have sweet times with my boys, but they just won't be the same. So whenever I can I try to make mental notes of these times in my brain and bottle them up so I have them forever. I would especially like to pull these times out of my mind when the boys are being particularly rotten. It's so hard being a parent and dealing with adult stress and not throwing a temper tantrum yourself, to then have your 20 month old not only pulling all the cereals out of the cupboards but dumping them all over the floor too and then screaming when you pick him up to take him into the other room, while your 4 year old is in the other room screaming and crying because Thomas keeps falling off the track because he is trying to get 10 trains around the track at once. It is these times that I really need to pull out my bottles of joy so I can remind myself to stay calm, not yell, and remember there are sweet little things somewhere in there.

Happy Mother's Day

This was an email sent at my husband's school by his principal. I couldn't think of a better way to put it!

"Dear Staff,

This weekend is Mother's Day.  I'm convinced that this is one of those days that our viewpoint changes drastically depending on what stage of life we are in.  When we are little, we make our mothers homemade cards or pick dandelion bouquets and give them to our mothers, not realizing that the day is much more special to them than to us.  

When we are married with no children, but busy with life, we may call or even visit, send flowers or a card, but we certainly don't spend as much time with our mothers as we should on that day because it seems that we will have them forever.  When we are young mothers we look forward to Mother's Day and just love it, because we now have learned what our mothers always knew, that we are among those most blessed in the world.   We look at tiny babies or young children with such wonder and cannot believe how much we love them in our hearts.  And when are children are grown and our own mothers are no longer alive, we just hope that our children never become too busy for us on Mother's Day or never live so far away that we can't be with them.  

It's the circle of life.

I hope all of you in some way are able to cherish some small part of Mother's Day.  If you are still lucky enough to have your own Mother in your life, I hope you are able to enjoy a phone call, or a brunch with her.  If you are still lucky enough to have a small child or grandchild fall asleep on your chest with his/her small fingers wrapped in yours, then I hope you take that nap with them. And if you still have a child in your house, I leave you with the best advice ever given to me-- pull up a chair and watch your child sleep, no matter how old.   If your children are grown, I hope you get a phone call, a Mother's Day card or even enjoy a brunch or dinner out with them.

If you are a husband and a father, then certainly I hope you make the day special for your wife, because this day is not just a commercial day to sell cards, it is truly a chance for a mother to hear from others how special it is to be a mother, though she already know it every time she stares into the eyes of her child, no matter how old the child is.

Have a terrific Mother's Day weekend!"

Sleepless nights...for 15 months!

Hurdle number 2, that we are not even close to jumping over...sleeping through the night. My husband and I have not had a full night's sleep until before Blake was born (he'll be 15 months on the 16th). There was a small time frame, while I was pregnant, that Joseph slept through the night. But as soon as little brother entered the world, we have had 5, and I mean 5 full nights of sleep and 2 of those were because the boys spent the night at my mom's house. Again, we have tried EVERYTHING! Letting him cry it out, going to him, sleeping with him, letting him sleep with us, shutting the door, giving him prizes for not waking us up, slowly creeping out of the room, moving further and further out of the room each night (Ferber method). Our current remedy, suggested to us from our doctor, has actually helped until the last couple of nights. This only involves about one waking in the night.  The plan is to let Joseph come in and sleep on our floor (pile of blankets). The deal is he can come in as long as he does not wake us up. I thought there was no way this would work, but the first few nights were great (but of course these nights Blake got up in the middle of the night, so we were still without a full night sleep). However, recently, Joseph still manages to wake us up. And oddly enough, it's not when he comes in to the room. I have actually been awake when he first comes in and he quietly goes to his blanket pile and lays down. No it's sometime after that that he wakes up, "Mom, cover me." "Dad, there are monsters." "I can't find G (his little lovey)." Once we figure this out, I will be sure to post what we did!!!!

How not to potty train your child

Joseph, FINALLY, started peeing on the potty. As part of the celebration, Daddy brought home balloons. Note the sweatpants. There is nothing worse than taking off peed on jeans, besides the fact that they have not only a button, but a zipper. Granted Joseph looked like a little ragamuffin that week, but we had easy down pants!

Potty training has BY FAR, been THE most difficult parenting hurdle thus far. And we are still not over that hurdle.  Being trained in child behavior I thought that this would be a no-brainer, we would have him trained in one day at exactly 2 1/2. And my mommy confession, pre-kids I would look at kids over 3 and wonder what the parents were waiting for to train their little ones. Now I know. We tried EVERYTHING! He was sat on the potty every 15 minutes all day, would not pee on the potty, he was given M&M's every time he sat on the toilet, he got a matchbox car if he peed, he wore pull-ups, he only wore Big Boys, he refused to go naked, he was even given the ultimate of ultimate potty prizes, the Misty Island Shake-Shake Bridge with a motorized Thomas, just for peeing on the potty!!!! (He was so resistant to sitting on the potty, that I thought maybe he was scared so I figure if he could just do it once, just once, then he would have it done.) So he pees once that day and not at all the next. Conclusion, I was wrong, he is just a stubborn little thing. Of course, most things we referred to (pediatrician included) said just let it happen on its own. I would not be pushing it at all, heck diapers are super easy, you don't have to worry about finding the disgusting public bathroom, you don't have to pull over after 5 minutes of driving because, even though we tried to pee before we left, we just didn't have to go. No, I would willingly allow him to wear diapers until he is good and ready, were it not for the fact that I paid for Joseph to start a little preschool program at the zoo and the number one requirement was: Your child must be potty trained. NO PULL-UPS! It starts in 3 weeks. I think, we have the potty part down, finally, as Joseph has put it, "I got peeing down, Mom. I just poop in my pull-up." Today I told him no pull-ups, if he has to poop, he has to go on the toilet. And what happens today, the little stinker doesn't poop. So we're still working on that one!

What we have learned first hand, what not to do:

• Don't worry about how old they are. (Joseph is now 3 1/2, birthday in July) That was my biggest obstacle. I was determined to not have a 3 year old in diapers so I pushed it. And Joseph pushed back. So who cares if Mom at the park trained her child in one day the day they turned two. Good for her. That is not all children and may not be yours, so don't lose sleep over it. They'll let you know, they'll tell you they have gone, when they go in their diaper, they will show interest and talk about it. Don't be surprised if they start to show interest and then lose it. We started with Joseph a little before 2 1/2 (right before Blake was born) and it seemed to be going ok. Then once Blake was born we both had to put it on hold. Neither of us were ready to tackle it. But then the problem became, I want to do what Blake is doing. If Blake had his socks off, Joseph took his socks off, if Blake was putting a toy in his mouth, Joseph was putting a toy in his mouth, if Blake was wearing a diaper...you get the point.
• As much as you don't want to hear it you do have to wait until they are ready...and YOU are ready. It has been really difficult for me not to get upset when I know he knows how to use the potty and just refuses to do it. I have to really look at how I am acting about it. If I don't make a big deal about it, it is a much better day.  So not only do you need to wait until he is ready, you have to be ready, and it might not be when you think. If you find yourself getting really frustrated, take a break, come back to it later that day, the next day, or maybe the weekend when you may have more help because Dad/Mom/Grandma can help.
• Don't tell him every 15 minutes to use it. If you wait until they are ready then they will go when they need to. On the days that I pestered him about going, he didn't make it once to the toilet. When I didn't even mention it, he would tell me he had to go and went every time. Now this is more of a beginning thing. I do have to remind him now because he gets so into playing and he knows how to hold it now, that he will misjudge. I always make him go before we leave the house. I made the mistake of not asking him after we had been out for an hour and he pees on the floor at the Chick-fil-a play area. Was I mortified!
• I was told to have him clean up the mess if he does go. The thought is, he is so wrapped up in what he is doing that he just doesn't get to the bathroom, so if he has to clean it up when he goes, he is still having to stop what he is doing. Only do this if you are willing and have time for whining and "Mommy help me." When he would have to undress himself I would just have to walk out of the room, otherwise he would put on a whole production about how he can't do it. If I leave and say I have to get the wipes (and take my time) I come back and he is undressed. The same with putting clothes back on, if I leave to throw the wipes out and the bag of wet clothes in the basement, he is dressed, sometimes with backwards pants and underwear but dressed. And I don't fix it unless it is bothering him, then I will help him, because he did it the first time. However, I have made the mistake of standing over him and he just whines and complains and I just get frustrated and yell. This is not what you want to do.
• It's ok to try rewards. It really helps in the beginning if you have a less than motivated tyke. He just weens himself off the rewards. Now only once in awhile will he ask for a sticker or a chocolate. At Christmas time, invest in some advent calendars with chocolate in them. I found some really cheap after Christmas and they work great! He's not getting too much chocolate and it is hanging outside the bathroom door (which is in our family room) so it is a constant reminder for him. Sometimes he'll see it and just want some chocolate and so will go to the bathroom. Granted this isn't what every mom will want to hear, but it works for us. 
• When he starts to do it consistently make a HUGE deal about it. He got balloons and got to go to Chuck E. Cheese. Not all at once, but the first 3 days he peed with few accidents he got balloons. Then after about a week and a half he got Chuck E. Cheese.
• Our biggest dilemma was the public toilet.  He had only used his little portable potty, so I figured it would take forever for him to go when we were out. For awhile he would wear pull-ups still when we were out, but one day we were at Target and I was stocking up on potty prizes and he really wanted one of the things I was going to get so he wanted to pee, right then and there. So we went to the big potty for the first time! He tried and couldn't go, but I was so impressed and ever since then he never thought it was a big deal to go when we were out. (He did get a consolation prize, but not the one he wanted because he didn't pee.)
• It's ok to incorporate a general behavior sticker chart with the potty chart. He earns stickers for sharing, helping his brother, good listening, and pottying. This helps to make pottying seem like something you just do rather than completely focusing on it. But he still gets rewarded for doing it since it is a new skill.  
• If you can find a method to potty train in a day, by all means try it, but don't be discouraged if it doesn't work. It's a learning process for both of you.  All both of you know is diapers. We'll see how kid #2 goes!

Crazy Ride Home

This Thanksgiving was a particularly busy one this year. On Thursday we went to my paternal grandparents house for lunch and for dinner we went to my step-paternal grandpa's (that would be my step-dad's dad) house for dinner. On Friday, I went and got my hair highlighted, something I haven't done for three years. Then we went to my uncle's house for Thanksgiving dinner with my mom (the joys of divorced parents!). Saturday morning we woke up early to go to my in-laws house (I don't like the word in-laws, I feel like it has a bad connotation, I happen to like my in-laws). The drive there was great. Both boys slept and it was nice and peaceful. However, Sunday afternoon turned out to be a different story. We left Anne and Frank's (my in-laws) house around 2:45. It was a wet, chilly, rainy, cloudy, yucky day. Jim decides to not stop at Sheetz to get gas before we get on the highway, rather he waits until we pass the highway to try to find one. At first it doesn't look like there is one on this side of the highway so he goes to turn around right before I spot a Speedway. So he pulls into a parking lot to go back out the same way. We should have seen this as sign. Once we are on the highway, he realizes that he left the gas flap (whatever the little gas door is called) open, so we have to stop at the next exit for him to close it. Again, getting back on the highway, we enter a traffic jam. While in the traffic jam (that is actually moving decently, so a traffic backup we'll say) we see a small dog on the side of the highway!
Me: Jim there's a DOG on the highway!!!!
Jim: What am I supposed to do?!
Me: PULL OVER!
Jim proceeds to pull over, not quite wanting to. I hop out of the car and head towards the dog. The dog heads toward the middle of the high way. I follow dog into middle of highway. Cars stop for dog and women following dog. He had his back to me so I just had to pick him up, arms extended, saying please don't bite me, please don't bite me. Traffic resumes. If you knew me, you would know that I'm not a huge dog person. There are very few dogs that I actually like. I used to like dogs when I was little, but I kind of feel like that's just what you're supposed to do when you are little. Like dogs. As I have grown-up, my feelings towards dogs has developed into more of a tolerance than a love for them. So I'm holding this little Chihuahua (how it should be spelled: chiwawa) looking thing, praying it doesn't bit me, hoping it doesn't have rabies, fleas, or some rare unknown dangerous stray dog disease. I walk back to our car, which is now not very close. In the cold wet rain. OK so I rescued the dog from its fate as road kill, but now what? Jim suggests a blanket from our trunk. Back out into the rain. Again, getting back on the highway, now with a stinky, wet, shivering, skin and bones, poor little dog on my lap. In my head, a huge debate on whether I suggest keeping this little furbag. After a few more miles of stopping and going, Jim is fed up and decides that perhaps taking Route 42 would be a better idea. He of course tells me this after about wrecking us because he is looking on the map he pulled up on his phone.
Jim: I think if I take this road and that road, I think that road turns into Route 42.
Me: Whatever you think.
Off the highway. Now we turn down a couple roads and who should awake, but Blake, screaming his head off. I try to use my GPS on my phone, but it decides it doesn't want to keep service. So now I have a stressed out husband, screaming baby, and stinky dog in the car. And we are lost. In the few seconds the GPS was working it said to turn in a 1/4 mile, I know we have gone over a 1/4 mile.
Me: Just pull in somewhere until the GPS starts working so we know which way to go and we are not driving in the wrong direction.
Jim: Well I don't know which way to turn.
Me: Yeah that's why you're stopping to see where we need to go.
GPS decides to work and we turn around. Luckily we had barely missed our turn. We do as the GPS tells us, and turn right. However, the GPS is trying to get us back to 71 not rte 42.
Jim: I think we need to go the other way.
Me: Then go the other way.
Jim: This is taking us to the highway.
Me: Then go the other way.
Jim: Well we're further down the road so we should be past the traffic jam, right?
Me: I doubt it.
Come to highway. Parking lot.
Jim: I think, I'll go the other way.
Me:
Again, heading home now on a route instead of a highway. As we approach the light we have now come at from a third direction, we have to stop a little ways away because everyone else has decided to skip the highway. A small road intersects right before the light, a car is at this road trying to turn left. Jim inches forward so this car can get out and turn left. CRASH! BOOM! SCREECH! Turn around to find car we just inched forward to let out, has hit a car driving in the left lane (there were two lanes a straight lane: right lane, and a turn lane: left lane). Luckily, the guy behind us gets out of his car to check on the people. Glad I didn't have to be a hero twice in one day because I don't know what I would have done with dog and screaming kid and already stressed out husband. (Big boy Joseph was sound asleep). The rest of the trip just escalated in stress, Blake wouldn't stop crying and we continuously got behind someone going 15 under the speed limit. At one point the GPS was increasing projected arrival time home. After Blake cryed for a good hour we decide to stop and Jim goes into Wendy's to feed him. At this point Joseph finally wakes up.
Me: Joseph
Joseph: Uhhh...(normal wake-up grumps)
Me: Joseph look what's on Mommy's lap
Joseph: Opens one eye
Me: Do you see what I have
Joseph: Both eyes wide open. Almost a whisper, A doggie!
Me: Yeah it's a doggie. Do you know where I got it?
Joseph: (after a pause) No, I don't.
Me: He was on the road and about to get hit and I picked him up.
Joseph: Is he coming home?
Me: Yep
Joseph: Can we keep him?
Now how in the world does this three year old know to ask, can we keep him? We don't talk about getting a dog, or a cat, or any pet. How does he know how to ask in the sweetest voice possible, can we keep him? Luckily, while trying to figure out what to do with the little furball, I called my dad who is willing to take him.  However, we have to keep him overnight until he is able to come pick him up on Monday.  So luckily when asked this sweet little question I was prepared.
Me: We're going to take him home tonight, but Grandpa will be keeping him at his house and we can go visit him and he can come visit us.
Joseph: Oh
Jim comes back with a much quieter Blake and we are on the road again. However, the quiet is only temporary. Finally, after 4 extremely long hours, we make it home. Four hours, for a normally 2 hour trip.

Not winning best day ever award

I was feeding e her bowl of rice cereal mixed w carrots and green beans when blake decides to pound on the bowl!

Pink Glove

Joseph started T-ball this week! He is so excited about it! I have been on the quest for a left-handed baseball mitt for him. I went to Target a couple of times and no left-handers. So finally, the day of his first "game" I went to Dick's. The only left-handed baseball mitts that were 9 in were pink & black and pink & purple. I asked if he cared if he had a pink glove and he said, "Nope." So we went for the pink and black glove. I think Daddy was less than thrilled. He said he is going to might go buy him another one. Good luck! But anyways, I think it's cute ;o)

Rough Night

Poor little Blake-i-doo was up for two hours last night! He woke up at 2:30 and Jim went in to feed him at 4:15.  I know we're not supposed to go to feed him until morning, but two hours of crying! For whatever reason, my kids have been terrible sleepers. I don't know what we do wrong, but my boys are not the kids you hear about that go to bed at 8pm and wake up at 8am.  Jim and I seriously went from a month before Blake was born getting up with Joseph every night, until Blake got his tubes in July. Blake was 8 months old. Literally, and I mean literally there were only two nights in that 9 months that both boys slept through the night! With Joseph, he was going through being scared and adjusting to being a big brother. We started off with his door closed and he was scared so we opened his door and put a gate up, well he just would cry at the gate. Since we didn't want him to wake up Blake (because he was actually sleeping) we would go up. Then we decided to move the gate to where Joseph could come into our room if he wanted and the idea was that we tell him to get back in bed. Of course, then we had to go cover him up and were still getting out of bed. Or I would not want to get up so I would just throw him in bed with us. There was one night that I woke up and he was in bed with us and neither Jim or I know how he got there. Our solution was to shut the door after he fell asleep and for whatever reason he magically didn't wake up in the middle of the night anymore. However, getting him to bed was a different story. Our bedtime routine was starting to take up to an hour and a half...(more on this later I have to pay some bills before Blake wakes up from his nap).

Welcome!

Here is my very first post to my brand spanking new site!! I'm so excited and have so much to say. But due to limited nap times, it may take awhile until this site is where I want it to be. But just for kicks and giggles, today was quite a day. We start off with Tantrum Boy Joseph crying because he wants to watch Mud Thomas after I already put in the first Thomas he asked to watch. After I get it in he insists on watching Mud Thomas. Not wanting to give in to screaming and crying , I told him he is watching the one I put in...proceed to meltdown! It was so bad today that I had to put him in his room for three minutes so we could both calm down.  After he watched 10 minutes of the other Thomas I put in his beloved Mud Thomas.  I don't really care which Thomas we watch, they're all annoying to me, but I didn't want him to think that if he throws a fit, he gets his way. Meanwhile, Blake is working on some major poopage in his pants and lo and behold...a POOP EXPLOSION! Between E, K, Blake and Joseph I have changed 7 poopy diapers today. The joys of motherhood ;o)